If I could pick one word to describe our lives this past week or two it would be waiting! We are anxiously waiting for the arrival of Bronson Baby #2 or A2 as I'll call her on here.
I was 6 days late with Baby A so I went into my third trimester mentally prepared for another late baby. And then my due date happened. This was me and Baby A last Sunday, when I was exactly 40 weeks pregnant.
As you can see, we're all smiles! Why? Because I was having some mild contractions about 17 minutes apart at the time this was taken. We decided to stay home from church *just in case* and had a very restful & relaxing morning. Instead of sitting on the couch all day, we decided to go to the outlet mall about 30 minutes away and walk. By the time we ate lunch and were walking, my contractions were about 13 minutes apart...still very mild. Fast forward to bedtime that night and they were still mild but had progressed to 8 minutes apart. This was it. I knew it! We called my mom who came to spend the night with Baby A in case we had to leave and I went to bed early knowing I'd need the rest. At 1:00 am I woke up to use the bathroom and they were 5 minutes apart, lasting more than a minute. Time to call the midwife...they were still mild so she said to call back when they were stronger. An hour later, they stopped. Completely.
Fast forward to today, I'm 41 weeks pregnant and we're still waiting for A2's arrival. And it's been hard. I don't know why but after the excitement and anticipation of last week, my spirit was a little bit broken. I've been cranky and stressed, which is not my normal pregnancy behavior. I've been questioning and doubting myself, especially when it comes to having another natural birth...even though we had a beautiful experience with Baby A. Also, I know in my head that I'm fully prepared (maybe even more so) this time.
But what's different this time? Why am I freaking out so much?
The only thing that has thrown me off is the false alarm. I've never had one before. I know every pregnancy is different and every baby is different but Baby A waited until she was ready to be born before she had any indication of coming out. I had very few Braxton Hicks with her.
I must confess that the believer/follower in me has not been doing her best to trust in the Lord. I've (selfishly) prayed and turned to Scripture but until this morning, I haven't given my weak spirit over to the Lord.
My flesh cried out for immediate satisfaction and the Lord answered with waiting. I prayed for more/better/grace-filled patience and He has tested the imperfect patience I already have. I demanded this baby come out and He gently told me that He needed a little more time to knit her in my womb.
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I've been doing the SheReadsTruth study on Ruth over the past week to keep my mind occupied and my spirit focused on the Lord and I was NOT prepared for the reality check of today's devotion.
Ruth had just spent the night at Boaz's feet on the threshing floor and in the morning out of obedience to Naomi's wishes. Instead of being immediately rewarded for her leap of faith, Boaz asks that she wait to see if another kinsman will redeem her. And she waits. We don't know if she was frustrated or hurt or confused but we do know that she waits.
The beautiful thing about her waiting is that she didn't know that God had already worked this out for the good. All she knew is that her ". He would have come through, provided for her, remembered His promise."
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So, beloved, whatever it is you are waiting for, I encourage to cling to the hope that God has a perfectly laid out plan for you. He is in control and He always fulfills his promises...
"In your waiting place, cling to the hope that It may not look how we expected but, as with Ruth and Naomi, our story is His story—it was then and it will be in years to come. We are only to wait, to trust, to obey."
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